Naruto! Advice Talk Show
by Saki Ji Li
Summary: A girl named Jili decided to make a advice talk show, it's about giving funny advices to the cast of Naruto! Rated for violence, language, and possible nose bleeds.


Naruto! Advice Talk Show

**Chapter 1: The TV Show Host.**

Breaking News Bulletin 

Jili Choi, a famous talk show host went Ms. Advice Columnist?! We go to the public for this news.

(News Reporter goes to a random 8 year old kid)

"EXCUSE ME YOUNG MAN! How do you feel about Jili Choi being a advice TV show host?"

The 8 year old kid stares into the reporter's eyes and leaves.

"HEY! Tell us your response please?"

The kid stared again, and this time he threw a rock at the camera. The camera went blank resulting technical difficulties also an angry reporter.

"Eh… I guess Bob will get back to us with those reports. By the meantime, Jili has just confirmed that her new Advice show Metamorphosis will launch tomorrow on ABC Family channel. A more personal background of the new advice talk show host Jili, she became an actress on the hit TV show –Destiny- at the age of 9 years old. Age 10 she launched a TV show called –Be my Man- starring as the giggly child Loki. Her stardom as a superstar bloomed when first appearing on Destiny, now this Advice Columnist job might bring up the ratings… We wish so much luck to her…"

"Indeed we do Mark. Now we can go back to Bob with the public's reaction to this breaking news."

Back to Bob 

"Well Cassie, I must say the public are quite shocked that the child star Jili will bring us some advices. But…"

Suddenly, a surprising gust of wind out of nowhere… Bob had tried to finish his sentence but the familiar shadow had frightened him. A voice called out. Could it be…

"**JERAD! GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE! WE'RE GOING TO BE LATE FOR OUR DATING LESSONS."**

"But Katie…"

"NO BUTS! AS YOUR GIRLFRIEND I EXPECT BETTER THAN BEING TREATED LIKE SHIT"

Bzzzzz…. Went the camera, and Bob who turned out to be an imposter.

(Sweat drop from the TV newsmen)

"That's a shocker… Anyways Jili or should I say future columnist will come by soon for a special interview. Oh wait! I'm receiving news from our cameramen but it looks like SHE'S HERE!"

(Crowd Screams)

"Jili!"

"Cassie! It's so glad to be on the news today"

"So Jili I must say after all that hard work from your shows –Destiny- and –Be my Man- it must be easy to get into the advice business."

"Actually no… I had to get classes for Psychology and Speech, because if I wanted to be a Advice Columnist I would have to communicate with the person, be like their best friend, also to solve the problem obviously." (Giggles)

"Haha. I must say. All that humor can be a cure to anyone hahahaha…"

"Haha. Thank you Cassie. It's a pleasure to hear that I can make people laugh. But I have a surprise for the audience when it airs tomorrow."

"What might that be?"

"It's a surprise haha.."

"Haha. All that humor from a 18 year old is quite a joy to have. At that age I couldn't make anyone laugh, only my friends but they're just saying that because they know I'm not funny. So if I turn around the corner it's like CASSIE SUCKS AT JOKES!"

(Audience laughs)

"The news gets better and better everyday…" Jili peers into the audience and sees a man getting up from his seat.

"HEY YOU! WITH THE HOTDOG AND FAKE GLASSES!"

The man replied. "Me?"

"YEAH YOU! Get up here."

"Um.. Excuse me?"

"NOW!"

"Fine, geesh. I'm coming you, bitch."

With an angered voice Cassie had went berserk when the mysterious man said bitch on a local Newscast. That didn't bother Jili though, she peered into her pocket and found a wrench. Aiming for the man's head wasn't hard. She knew that the guy was asking for a fight so she gave him one. BONK went the wrench, Cassie, and Jili who was laughing hysterically.

"Well Jili I must say that was an… Interesting interview."

"It sure was." Jili said with a smile.

"Okay that's enough on Jili today, check out her advice show Metamorphosis tomorrow at 6/5 o' clock central on the ABC Family channel."

Author: (By the way it's 6PM for Pacific and 5PM for Central)

At Jili's mansion 

At the struck of Midnight, Jili picked up her cell phone and called up a special friend from a cartoon show. Buzz Buzz… Finally a voice had picked up the phone, and the two people talked for three hours and one word came from Jili. Excellent…

8:00:00 AM California, Metamorphosis Set 

"**SOMEBODY GIVE ME MY DAMN COFFEE!!"**

A fit Jili had with the producers. She couldn't stand the poor service around the set. Finally the person she called last night appeared on set, with his best friends…

"NARUTO!!" She said with a ecstatic voice.

"JILI!!! It's so glad to find my friend in Hollywood again! Sakura-Chan why can't you be cool like her…"

BONK

"**THAT'S CAUSE I'M NOT RICH YOU DUMBASS!"** Said Sakura.

"Humph. I never knew dope here knew any famous people." Sasuke said with a smirk.

"SASUKE-TEME SHUT THE FUCK UP! GRR…"

"It's fine everyone… You guys can chill at the lounge until I get everything finished before the show starts."

"Yes Ma'am" Both Sakura and Sasuke answered.

"It's okay you guys can call me Jili like Naruto does. Unfortunately I'm stuck with this name so might as well do something with it."

Team 7 went to the lounge only to find tons of ramen and rice cakes. Naruto with a huge obsession with ramen ran to the table and started slurping the noodles. As usual Sakura bugged Sasuke with her fan girl laughs, and as usual he disappeared but this time… Into the Men's bathroom. Lesson number one: When a fan girl bugs you, go to the Men's Bathroom the only room fan girls can't walk into. If it gets worse always have a handy dandy club with spikes provided by Bloody Murphy Co.

"SASUKE-KUUUN!!!"

"**DAMN IT SASUKE-KUN HID IN THE MEN'S BATHROOM!" **Inner Sakura exclaimed.

At the Set 

"JILI! OH MY GOD I love YOU!!!" Said a fan boy.

"Um.. SECURITY!!!"

"CODE RED CODE RED!!! SWARM SWARM!!!"

Securities ran straight on to the fan boy. By the time they knew it he was knocked out from the securities.

"Phew… Thanks guys I owe you guys some pizza."

"You're welcome Ms. Jili."

Jili had just realized Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke were at the lounge, as curious as she was. She peered into the lounge where it was dead quiet… Or until you opened the door it was nothing but ramen spills everywhere, Sakura crying on tissues, and Sasuke nowhere to be seen…

"HEY WHERE'S SASUKE!?"

"He's… In the Men's bathroom…" Sakura said with a sniff.

"Gah… Sasuke that bish better get out of that bathroom before the show starts. I'm already getting impatient…"

Jili ran straight into the Men's bathroom and while walking to the sinks she saw Sasuke doing something out of character….

"Hey good looking what's cooking… You know I'm too sexy for my shirt just too sexy for my shirt." Said Sasuke when looking in the mirror, admiring himself.

"HEY YOU SICK BASTARD GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE BATHROOM GET COME WITH ME ONTO THE SET!!!"

" Fuck I've been discovered… Damn woman can't you see you were killing my moment with myself."

" I will whip your ass if you don't come with me."

"Is that a threat?" Smirked Sasuke.

"NO IT'S A REQUEST THAT YOU CAN'T DENY!"

Jili had to drag Sasuke out of the bathroom but the cruel moments of Sakura holding on to Sasuke was the worst. Oh how it pains him. The fan girl that will never fade away…

"Alright guys the show's starting in… OH MY GOD IT'S STARTING IN 30 minutes!!!" Already impatient and startled by Sasuke's unusual behavior she almost fainting when looking at her watch.

So the show was about to start and the Naruto crew was looking for the weirdest Advice talk show ever…

Hey guys this is Saki with this humorous yet lots of language and violence mixed. I love this fanfic so far and I hope the public would appreciate this as well… You guys are awesome on how you are treating my stories XD.

Another Chapter will be up two hours from now since this was done in two hours xx… Enjoy! Review and Review!!!

SakiJiLi

P.S. No I'm not the talk show host amazingly, I just couldn't come up with a name for the talk show host…


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